We All Dwell in Possibility
by tradition
Summary: Short little pieces in response to one sentence prompts. First up: "is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"
1. Chapter 1

**Note** : The prompt for this one was: "is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

* * *

Sakura closed the door to her apartment heavily and leaned against it, closing her eyes. She was so tired. The scheduled multiple surgeries had been enough to drain her, but Tsunade's sudden summons for Shizune meant that she needed to stay at the hospital for a second shift until the hospital's Chief Medical Officer had arrived for his shift at midnight. She had stumbled through Konoha with her eyes closed, limbs feeling like they were made of lead. If there was another invasion, Sakura might have just laid down in front of the enemy nin and let them cart her away.

She staggered toward her bedroom, shedding boots and weaponry as she went. Sakura spared a thought for a bath before realizing that she would probably drown in her state. She was about to fall into her bed when her tired brain realized that her foot was connecting with a large pile of cloth on the floor. She squinted down at it, not recognizing the black pants or torn flak vest.

 _That's funny, I don't think I've worn a flak vest since the war._

While she was still wondering at that, a groan came from her bed, where there was a suspiciously person-shaped lump. Sakura saw a muscled calf sticking out from the blanket, along with a bare shoulder and the tips of messy grey hair.

"Kakashi, is there is a reason you're naked in my bed?" She was too tired to be angry right now, but Sakura was sure she could muster up the energy later.

There was another groan and the lump theatrically rolled over to face her. She could see that he had managed to keep his mask on even though his other clothes were scattered around her bedroom. "Sakura-chan, I think I've been poisoned." He coughed dramatically and looked up at her with wide, pleading eyes. It had taken her years to get used to seeing both of them.

She stayed where she was, not impressed. "Really? And that poison led you to my apartment where you broke in and stripped down to take up my entire bed? Couldn't you have relegated your dying to my couch instead?"

"Maa, Sakura-chan is so mean! I am your Hokage, you know." Kakashi slowly moved into a vague sitting position and wrapped her duvet around his body like a robe.

"You _were_ the Hokage, but now you're just an annoying man who is _stealing my blankets._ "

"We could share." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, expression familiar to anyone who had seen him read Icha Icha.

"…Fine." She moved forward to tug the blanket from his shoulder, to his great surprise. He scrambled backward on the bed, hitting the wall.

"W-what? Sakura-chan, I was joking! We can't both be under here!"

Sakura gave him a flat look and her shoulders slumped. "Look, I'm not in the mood. I am so far past exhausted I might as well be dead. Let me under the blankets with you so I can sleep or go home."

Kakashi was still with shock and she took that as his answer. Sakura crawled onto her bed and grabbed the edge of her duvet from his slack fingertips, throwing it over herself. She murmured, "It's not like you have anything I haven't seen before," and patted his knee condescendingly. In the next breath, she was asleep.

Underneath his henge, Konohamaru was sweating bullets. Naruto, the mature leader of their entire village, had dared him to prank Sakura today after he had complained about being bored. Konohamaru had been anticipating screeching and hilarity, with a couple of dodged punches. Not this.

 _I think I'm in trouble now._


	2. Chapter 2

**Note** : The prompt for this one was "there was something not quite right about the window". It takes place in some sort of nebulous non-massacre AU.

* * *

There was something not quite right about the window. Kakashi paused as he walked into his apartment and looked around cautiously, but he didn't sense anyone. He stared at Mr. Ukki, who was looking suspiciously healthy after Kakashi had abandoned him for a quick two month mission to Rain. He had not asked anyone to stop by, so this was clearly a cause for concern. _Someone_ had broken into his apartment, past all his traps and … watered his plant? And then _reset_ all his traps on their way out?

That was problematic.

He wheeled around immediately, not bothering to shower off the grime of his three day return travel. He had a prankster to find.

Kakashi's first stop was to Ichiraku, where he spotted the eye-searing blonde-orange combination sitting next to Sasuke. He slid into the stool next to Naruto quietly and greeted them with a wave. "Yo."

"Kakashi-sensei! Back already?"

Sasuke whapped him on the back of the head. "Idiot, he's been on a mission for nearly nine weeks."

"W-what, really?!"

He sighed mournfully. "My students don't even notice when I'm gone!"

Sasuke ate his ramen with as much dignity as he could muster. "Former students, Kakashi. You realize that we're all ANBU now, right?"

"So rude, Sasuke-kun. Did you two water Mr. Ukki while I was gone?" They both looked at him like he had just suddenly whipped off his mask for the first time. "What?"

Naruto slurped up the last of his bowl and said, "Kakashi-sensei, the last time we tried to see you at your apartment, your doorbell "surprise" nearly killed us. No way am I gonna risk my life again for a plant." Kakashi didn't think that a little lightning jolt to the spine was _that_ bad, but his expectations had always been a little screwy.

"Do you know who did?"

They both shrugged and Naruto said, "Maybe Gai-sensei? Part of that Eternal Rivalry thing you keep trying to back out of?"

Kakashi contemplated the possibility of it. Gai was certainly skilled enough to get past his traps if he was determined enough and he _always_ had the strangest reasoning for contests. But of course, now this means he has to go seek Gai out if he ever wanted to know for sure. Was it worth it?

He tried to imagine sleeping in his lonely apartment, not knowing who had broken in and shivered. His paranoia wouldn't allow it. He had to know.

* * *

"Kakashi! Are you here to finally offer me a challenge?"

He slouched over to where Gai was doing one handed push-ups next to Lee, who was shouting his count gleefully.

"No, just wondering if you had broken into my apartment lately."

His self-proclaimed rival paused while Lee took the opportunity to try and get ahead of his mentor. "I would never violate the sanctity of your privacy, Kakashi! Did something happen?"

"Someone watered my plant while I was gone."

Gai huffed a loud laugh as he resumed his push-ups. "What about your precious students? Surely they would be the first to take responsibility for it."

"Naruto and Sasuke both deny it."

"Ah, but your team was made of _three_ youthful students of Konoha's finest. What about Sakura-chan?" Lee perked up at her name.

"She wouldn't …" Kakashi trailed off, wondering why he hadn't considered her first. Sakura had always been the smartest on his team. If any of them could get through his traps, it would have been her. But why would she bother?

Gai just raised his dramatic eyebrows at him knowingly.

* * *

Kakashi wandered through the hospital awkwardly as the medics and nurses gave him a wide berth with surprised eyes. There were few times he had been here while conscious and he had left as soon as he was able to escape out the windows. Still, he was a man on a mission.

He spotted a flash of pink at the end of the hallway and headed that way, determined to get to the bottom of this weird situation. "Sakura-chan!"

She stopped and looked worried when she saw him, all but confirming his suspicions. Her first words, however, gave him pause. "Kakashi-sensei! Are you okay?" Sakura had dropped her clipboard and rushed toward him, patting down his arms and legs as if she were going to see him start gushing blood at any moment.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

She cocked a hip and withdrew her hands, satisfied that he wasn't going to die on her shift. "Because I have never seen you enter the hospital voluntarily."

He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Maa, I just had a question for you."

She raised her eyebrows. "Shoot."

"Have you been in my apartment lately?"

Sakura smiled at him and laughed behind her hands. "That's it? That's why you rushed in here looking like you've rolled around in mud?"

"It's a serious question, Sakura-chan."

She sighed. "Yes, I know how paranoid you are about your space." Sakura leaned close and he could smell the faint scent of her shampoo, something cooling and minty that she had switched to suddenly one day, after he had sent her on a mission with Pakkun. She pressed a kiss to his masked cheek and said, "Welcome home, Kakashi. Mr. Ukki missed you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Note** : The prompt for this one was: "Please stop petting the test subjects."

* * *

"Please stop petting the test subjects." To belie her polite words, Sakura slapped Naruto on the head with her clipboard.

He whined at her and rubbed at his bruised skull. "Sakura-chan, how could you use them like this?"

She turned a narrow-eyed gaze at him. "Are _you_ going to volunteer for this experiment?"

He sputtered at her. "Wha-No! Of course not. You know I can't!"

She turned away from him, already making notes. "Then I suggest you get the hell out of my lab, _Hokage-sama_."

Naruto threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "No respect, Sakura-chan! I am only the leader of our entire village, not like that's important or anything."

She was entirely unimpressed. "That line might work on people who don't know that you once farted in someone's face to win a fight."

Naruto's face flushed red. "I was thirteen! And it worked, didn't it?"

"Hmm. In a manner of speaking." She placed a gentle hand on subject four and said. "Go."

Subject four stood awkwardly, huffing. Sakura twirled her hand and he obediently turned in a circle so that she could get a full look and then cooed at him.

"Pakkun, who ever knew you would make such a handsome man!" He sneezed and looked at her with baleful eyes that reminded her far too much of Kakashi.

"Can we go now?" His gruff voice had remained the same, though it was strange to hear come from a much higher level. He looked over at the rest of the pack, who had also been transformed into varying human states. "I don't even know why you did this in the first place. I _like_ being a dog."

Naruto, who had retreated into a corner after Sakura had yelled at him, blushed and said, "Actually, that's my fault."

Pakkun sighed. "Why am I not surprised? What did you do this time, kid?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously. "I may have accidentally turned Sasuke into his snake summons?" The entire pack just stared at him in disbelief, their now-human eyes frighteningly expressive.

Sakura snorted. "He means that he tried an experimental jutsu on another person without their consent in the middle of a spar and now _I_ have to deal with the consequences." She slapped her hand down on the seal they were all sitting on and infused her chakra delicately, allowing them all to return to their original form. "Let's go find Sasuke-kun and fix this."

She tossed the enormous seal scroll at him to carry and Naruto caught it with a grunt of effort, following her obediently out the door. "Why do I gotta carry this heavy thing?"

"Because I said so. Isn't that a good enough reason?" He opened his mouth to reply, saw her fierce glare and for once wisely decided that discretion was the better part of valor.

They went to training ground three and Naruto was relieved to see that snake Sasuke was still there, sunning himself on an enormous boulder. He definitely did not remember _that_ being here when he left the day before, panicked and looking for Sakura. Naruto stood by nervously as Sakura flipped open the scroll by rock, unperturbed by the snake's intense gaze.

She looked between him and the reptile that was their former teammate and tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You know, I think I'll be Hokage after he murders you. That sounds like just compensation for the sleepless night."

Naruto could _hear_ the fox snickering at him, despite their impending demise. _Why is this my life?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Note** : the prompt for this one was: "Can you press pause on being an asshole for a second?" i just really love me some sakura and hidan shenanigans, as made obvious by my most recent chapter of _how long is forever?_ i might just do more with this idea.

* * *

Before the man in front of her could do anything, Sakura just put a hand up in his face and said, "Can you press pause on being an asshole for a second?" She turned to her tiny slug summon and said, "Please continue, Kasumi-san."

While she listened patiently to the breathy voice report on the mundanities of the border patrol, the man was fidgeting, looking as if the silence was just about to kill him. Once Kasumi disappeared in a puff of smoke, he threw his hands up in the air. "Finally! Fucking gross things, shouldn't be allowed indoors."

Sakura sighed and pressed the cool glass of her beer to her forehead. "What do you want, Hidan?"

The immortal man had dug himself out of the Nara forest while all of Konoha's troops had been busy with the Fourth Shinobi War and disappeared for half a decade. His new sacrifices to Jashin had popped up on the radar several months ago, but because they were always missing-nin, no one in any government had cared all that much. All the daimyo were just happy they didn't have to pay out bounties and the kages were cautiously optimistic that he would just keep getting rid of their village outcasts.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, had to be officially bound to Konoha so he wouldn't pull a Naruto.

"Can't a guy approach a woman at a bar without being fuckin' interrogated?" He sat down next to her without invitation and signaled to the bartender.

Sakura frowned. "A single question is not an interrogation. Asshole."

He grinned at her. "Now you're speaking my language, beautiful." Hidan took a swig of his whiskey as Sakura wrinkled her nose. "What, too much of a lady to appreciate a man who can hold his liquor?"

She rolled her eyes and swiveled in the stool, leaning her elbows back against the bar. "You don't guzzle that kind of whiskey. It's wasted on something like you."

Hidan shrugged and drained the rest of his glass. "Some _thing_? Ouch, sweetheart."

Sakura's first run in with Hidan had ended with him killing her mission target as a sacrifice after she had diligently tracked the man for two weeks. She took out her frustration on his too pretty face with her fists and left him broken and bleeding, his scythe pierced through his kneecap like a macabre flag. He hadn't stopped dogging her steps since.

She sighed. "I'm really not in the mood for your face right now, Hidan."

He straightened out of his lazy slouch and his red eyes took on a dangerous glint. "Somebody I need to kill for you, gorgeous? You know I will."

Sakura nursed her beer and contemplated taking Hidan up on his offer. Her current mission was more tedious than difficult, acting as a part-time bodyguard for a Fire Country nobleman during his activities at the spring festival. She had taken it on as a favor to Kakashi, who had given had a tired look when he handed the mission scroll over, saying "I apologize in advance, Sakura-chan."

Once she met Ikeda Terumasa, she understood. The man was belligerent and hateful of shinobi, sneering at everything from her small stature ("I'm more likely to protect _her_.") to her name ("A pink haired Sakura? Your parents must have been very dull people."). After the festival was over, she might just come back and murder him herself.

After a long silence, she just shrugged. "I don't need anyone to kill people for me."

He smiled, his white teeth glinting in the dim bar lighting. "Don't I know it. That's why you really need to give me and you a chance, sweetheart."

Sakura rolled her eyes, wondering when he would get tired of this game. "I'm not going to sleep with you, Hidan."

He pouted at her, a frankly terrifying look on such a big man who still refused to wear a shirt in public. "But why? You're hot, I'm hot. What doesn't work?"

She snorted into her beer, amused despite herself. "With logic like that, it's a wonder you pull any woman at all."

Hidan looked insulted. "I can get other women just fine. You're the only hold out." He leered at her as the bartender poured him another two fingers of whiskey. "It's a real turn on."

She flapped a hand at him dismissively. "Tell me about your week so I don't have to think about mine." Once he stopped with the ridiculous pick up lines, Hidan was pretty decent drinking company. It just wasn't something she was about to share with her friends back home.

"Jashin-sama received three pledges." Hidan licked his lips. "One of them was exquisitely fuckin' bloody."

Sakura was far too used to his antics to respond with anything but, "Anyone I know?"

He shrugged. "I grabbed them in the middle of a little pow-wow about killin' some old lady. I didn't stop to ask for their names."

She fluttered a hand on her chest. "You saved an old woman from certain death? What a hero!"

Hidan scowled and petulantly picked up his glass, sipping it pointedly in her direction. "Don't joke about that shit. Jashin-sama doesn't need heroes, just sacrifices."

Sakura poked him in the chest. "You're practically a saint these days, only killing people who have bounties."

Hidan grunted and caught her hand before she could add more finger shaped bruises. "The more blood a sacrifice has shed himself, the more blood Jashin-sama gets when theirs is spilt."

She laughed and tugged her hand out of his grasp. "Whatever you say, jerk. I still think you've gone soft." Sakura waved her beer at him. "It's a good look for you."

"Yeah?" Hidan raised his eyebrows at her and smirked. "That somethin' you like, sweetheart? I can be cuddly for you."

She made a face at him. "God, that's a disturbing thought. A blood soaked teddy bear."

He threw an arm around her shoulders, ignoring the way she sighed in resignation. "You and me, beautiful. No one could stop us."


	5. Chapter 5

**Note** : the prompt for this one was: "i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can't stop watching you do one armed push ups that's so hot". takes place in modern day AU. why am i so obsessed with these two?

blanket warning for hidan being hidan and therefore highly offensive.

* * *

Hidan shoved the door open rudely, grumbling to himself and shouldering past the annoyed looking soccer mom who was attempting to herd her gaggle of children away from him. He made a point to swing his gym bag widely and almost clipped one of the brats who got too close. "Go to the fucking gym, Hidan," he mimicked Konan in a high-pitched voice. "You need to do stop prowling around shitty neighborhoods, Hidan. Do something productive, Hidan. Stop having _fun_ , Hidan!"

The woman frowned and placed her hands over the ears of her two closest children. "Excuse me! Watch your mouth!"

"Eh?" He wheeled around and looked her up and down, smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Why don't you watch it for me, sweetheart?"

She sniffed and pushed the two boys toward the exit. "You're disgusting." She raised her voice, clearly aiming to be heard by the disinterested person at the front desk. "I hope you get banned for that."

"Whatever." Hidan had already turned away from her, no longer interested in playing if she was going to be so _bitchy_ about it. He stalked over the bored looking young man in an offensively bright polo, who was wearing a nametag that said INARI. "You! I need to work out. Give me a pass or somethin'."

He raised an eyebrow at Hidan. "Do you have a membership here? We can start a new one for you …"

"Nah," Hidan said, digging around in his pockets. "Where the fuck-what is this?" He pulled out a handful of bloody teeth he had collected from his fight last night. "I forgot about these!" Inari was starting to look more alive now, almost frightened, though Hidan couldn't see why. They were just teeth. After another moment of searching his person, Hidan slapped a paper down on the desk triumphantly. "There!"

The young man took it with slightly nervous fingers. "Ah, a guest pass from a Mister Nagato? Usually we need to have the member with the person using it …" He looked up at Hidan's rapidly darkening countenance and said hurriedly, "But I think it will be fine just this once! The locker rooms are up the stairs to your right, please enjoy your work out!"

"Damn right I will, since I'm not allowed to have any other sort of enjoyment in this goddamn world." He continued muttering to himself all the way up the stairs and through changing, sneering at the sign on the back of the door that said SHIRTS AND SHOES MUST BE WORN AT ALL TIMES. "Like hell I'm gonna bow to that, I'll wear whatever I goddamn want."

He exited the locker room in just his shorts and sneakers, looking for the weight room or barring that, someone who would let him pummel them for fun. He followed the sounds of clinking metal and the muted thumps of a bar hitting a padded ground, walking into the fairly large area. Hidan made a beeline for the free squat bar set-up near the corner, winding his way around someone doing push ups in the middle of the floor.

He looked back and scowled. "What the hell are you-"

Hidan stopped in his tracks as he took in the girl - no, _woman_ \- on the ground easily coasting through a series of push-ups like she did it every day. Her pink ponytail fluttered around her face as she steady counted under her breath. "-97, 98, 99, 100." Without fanfare, she switched to _one arm_ and continued. "1, 2, 3 …"

Hidan shook his head, whispering to himself, "Fuck," before dazedly making his way to the equipment he had originally wanted. This unfortunately gave him a perfect view of her as she finished her reps on the left arm and moved onto just the right, muscles not even trembling from the strain. He could barely tear his eyes off her straight back and perfect form as he chalked his hands distractedly. "Fuck," he said again. "I wanna fight _her_."

It was a new thing for him, to want to fight a woman rather than fuck her. He tilted his head and leered at her bare, toned legs and grinned. Or fight a woman _and_ fuck them afterwards. Hidan checked the plates that had been left on the bar and scoffed. "Two-twenty? I guess it will do for a warm up."

Smoothly he bent under the bar and allowed it to rest on his trapezius, moving away and losing himself in the repetition of squats, almost forgetting about the hot chick, until he caught a shifting of pink in the corner of his eye.

"You've got to be kidding me," he groaned, watching as the woman maneuvered herself into a handstand before lowering her elbows into a planche push up, defying all sense of gravity, her legs never once touching the ground. Hidan was powerless against his own desire to stare at the way her shirt rode up over her abs through several reps, his eyes following the way the words SUNS OUT, GUNS OUT caressed her figure in such a seductive way for such a stupid staying.

He was so distracted by contemplating how she could utilize these skills in bed that he didn't notice when she flipped back onto her feet until she locked a fierce green gaze on him. Hidan realized at that moment that he had stopped his own reps mid-squat and probably looked fucking ridiculous. "Eh, screw it." He stood and placed the bar back onto the rack without a care, sauntering over to the woman who was drinking water and watching his approach with suspicion.

"Wait," she held up a hand to stop him, wiping her sweaty face with a towel. "Okay, give it to me."

He grinned and crossed his arms over his bare chest. "Already? I didn't even get to use the line I had been thinkin' of."

She rolled her eyes. "I _meant_ say what you're going to say, asshole, so I can send you on your way with your tail tucked between your legs."

Hidan gave her a very, very slow once over. "I'd rather be tucked between _your_ legs, beautiful."

"Ugh," she threw her towel onto the rack of dumbbells behind her. "That was awful. Are you sure that's what you want to go with?"

He smirked. "I think you already know what I'd like to go with. Let's skip all the pleasantries and get down to the screwing."

She snorted in a very unladylike fashion, much to his delight. "Nothing about this conversation has been pleasant, you dick."

Hidan's heart was pounding in a way that usually only happened after the best sort of fights, where he was surrounded by groaning bodies as the last one standing. "You wound me, sweetheart."

The woman didn't stop taping her hands to reply, "Not yet, but you're tempting me."

"Oh," he said breathlessly. "That sounds fucking amazing."

She looked at him incredulously and then laughed. "Just my luck to find a freak like you on a day when I _really_ need to let off some steam." She turned to go, jerking her head for him to follow to the boxing ring he could see through the internal windows. "Come on, big boy. Show me what you've got. Maybe I'll even give you my name after."

Hidan trailed after her helplessly, staring at her ass and hoping for a lot more than just a name.


End file.
